Summer Clothes Rant

22 04 2011

It’s been gloriously sunny these past few days and we all know what that means…

Shorts, mini-skirts, short-dresses, flimsy tops and flip-flops. Humanity craves as much flesh on show as possible without revealing the parts best left for special friends.  And yet its a time of year I dread.

Shops are filled with stunning floaty sun dresses designed to look fantastic on telegraph poles, girls get to show off their long tanned legs and lard-arse me gets to wear oversized black t-shirt and jeans to hide the humongous amount of fat I’ve collected over the years and I’m not even that big.

Blue mini Prada Dress

So 2 Summer seasons ago - Prada.

I wouldn’t be thanked for showing off my blue rotund elephant style legs in a floaty mini dress or for displaying my bouncing bingo wings for all and sundry in a strappy top. I no longer fit into standard high street sizes thanks to a fucked thyroid and so my options are limited to the Fat Floridian in Nylon look or Hide-it-all in a Tent look. Neither of which will be found in Prada, All-Saints, or Primark.

All Saints Sleeveless Mini Dress

All Saints dresses don't suit bingo wings or elephant legs

Whenever someone larger than a size 12 dares to comment about lack of choice or availability in clothing, especially suitable summer clothing, all those skinny ladies hit out with, “am I not a real woman?” It seems the skinnies miss the real issue.

skinny girl in white dress and black jacket

Primark doesnt cater for larger sizes

When the UK average is around a size 16, why is it retailers don’t cater for them and claim there is no market for such sizes?

chubby nudists

No market for larger sizes? are we all naked?

Do all women over a size 16 prefer the nudist look then? If there is no market in the high street for the average UK size, what are these women wearing?

And when shops do sell reduced lines in larger sizes, in the sales, the racks are full of sizes 4, 6 and 8 but rarely size 16. Hell even out with the sales finding the elusive size 16 or 18 on a shelf is near impossible. If the desire for these sizes are so rare, why do they always sell out first?

But it’s not all bad news, as if by some stroke of fortune my top half can actually still squeeze itself into size 14, or at least it would if I had  swollen nipples instead of ample breasts. While a size 14 is considered as having a 38 inch chest it seems this doesn’t stretch to a DD cup. The tops would probably fit my boyfriend better.

And thinking back to the skinny mantra of “real women”, why does it have to boil down to being a real woman anyway?

I own a vagina and a pair of huge tits – I am most definitely a woman and a real one at that – doesnt mean I can find anything appropriate to wear in the nice weather. If you are under size 14 you will have fewer issues finding clothes at all. That doesn’t make you an unreal woman or a pretend woman, it just means that you are catered for more readily by retailer.

Now don’t get me wrong, in my slimmer days I had issues finding clothes to fit my then size 6 body because it was thought no one could possible be that skinny and be healthy or an adult. My, how times have changed! My smaller waist still doesn’t fit into standard shaped womans trousers and then my thighs barely fit for the opposite reason.

fat woman struggling into denims

a more realistic dressing scene?

I’m not an odd shape. I’m not apple-shaped and I’m certainly not boy shaped but it seems that these are the two choices for women on the high street.

You either have to conform to the shape of a weeble or you have to conform to the shape of an ice-pole. There is nothing in-between. Marilyn would be turning in her hourglass grave.

So yet another year I’m stuck in dumpy clothing hiding away the bodyparts society deems inappropriate for fat people to show, yet are celebrated in slimmer people. Then they have the audacity to complain they’re not considered real women when curvaceous women have difficulty finding nice clothes to fit. I’d rather be a clothed pretend woman than a naked real one!







One response

23 04 2011
Stain Removal

I had the very same problem as size 6/8, I had people asking me if I was anorexic but I’m only 5ft 3 and I was young and perfectly healthy. Now I’m a size 12/10 I still have problems because my waist and hips fit standard clothing sizes but my chest is too big for most 12’s or 10’s. So it seems to me that the assumption by clothes manufacturers is that if you have a chest or a shape it’s because you’re fat. I’m not, I’m just a woman and we come in all shapes and sizes and most of us are neither apple shaped or icepole shaped.

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