George Michael Rant *Guest Post*

28 04 2011

**Guest Rant by @R_B_Bastard**

A picture of george michael wearing sunglasses

should've stuck to Wham!

Don?t fucking tell me that everyone?s entitled to their own opinion.  Did you even hear that latest George Michael release?  He took one of the best pop-electronica songs of the 1980?s – New Order?s ?True Faith? – got it stoned, drove it headlong into Snappy Snaps, lured it into a public lavatory and shoved his cock up its arse until it sounded like Stephen Hawking with a fucked battery in his voice simulator.

It was fucking dreadful.

There?s no excuse for music like that.  Don?t try to argue with me or I?ll rip out your emotionally retarded heart with a pair of salad servers, squeeze it into your CD drive in place of the fucking Lighthouse Family?s Greatest Hits and then press play by hurling what?s left of your lifeless body against the stereo.

You want to listen to jumped-up lift music?  Then do so in the privacy of your car (probably a Lexus) and make sure you keep the windows closed, so that my fucking oxygen isn?t polluted by the blandness of your digitalised limp rhythms.

George Michael has a great voice, I admit.  But rather than marvel at his voice, we should instead marvel at how he?s managed to remain in the public eye for so long, when he churns out, on an irregular basis, the same soul-less, personality-devoid bland load of old shit that?s so bad it makes me actually LIKE WHAM!

Oh I know why he?s still famous?(back to paragraph one)

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