Twitter: after the love is gone *Guest Post*

28 04 2011

**Guest post by @furiousgerbil**

They definitely said I would get a free poppadom!

A Poppadomless Furious Gerbil


Sorry, Twitter, I don?t love you anymore

(Or, it?s not you, it?s me. Actually it?s you. Definitely you)

I?m a reasonable man, I really am. On second thoughts, I?m not. But that?s not the point is it.

I?ve only been on Twitter  a short while ? since January ? and I think it?s great, I really do, but I?ve noticed a disturbing trend in Twitterland (I?ve just made that up and I don?t like it. It?s twee. Please don?t use it)

Twitter, like any other realm of human activity has its fair share of bell-ends but for some reason I tend to notice them more on Twitter. Let me explain who I?m referring to. Badly.

Dick Wavers. No, this isn?t the name of an American actor in one of those 50?s western TV shows (Although it should be) These are people on Twitter who wear their follower count as a badge of honour and use it as an excuse to be very, very rude. Dick wavers are people ? mainly, but not solely, men ? who have a couple of thousand followers and see it as an excuse to ignore any messages from people they deem to be unimportant i.e. those with fewer followers than themselves.  I have seen people send them messages, very funny or kind messages only for them to be ignored completely. The dick waver has then replied to a message from a ?star? that was unfunny. But they were a ?star? and that?s what counts. I don?t hold with the argument that people get so many messages that they can?t reply to them all, there is clear evidence that they trawl their messages and only reply to ones that they think will improve their status or follower count (In their eyes, often the same thing)

When I first started using Twitter I made the mistake of following ?celebrities? and routinely got ignored by them. This is the worst type of discrimination: the type against me.  I?ve stopped following celebrities now, all but a few. ?Ordinary? people are much more fun anyway. I?m lucky enough to have a few hundred followers and I still try to reply to every single message I get. Even the weirdos. And there are lots of weirdos.

When I did follow ?celebrities? I followed a very well known female comedian. She messaged me. She slagged of my little bio thingy then proceeded to question how I?d got the followers I had. How rude can you get!! For me, Twitter is supposed to be fun. It?s not an extension of my job, I have a very nice job, thank you, I don?t need Twitter to be an indication of how popular I am. And, no, I won?t tell you who she is. She?d probably enjoy the publicity. Anyway. I?m not rude. I?m better than she is.

Twitter is supposed to be fun. A laugh. There are people I follow and who follow me that, for some reason ? be it illness or circumstance ? cannot get out and about as much as many of us more able and lucky ones can. Twitter is a lifeline. Anyone who reads my tweets will see, I hope, that I try to be amusing. I try to cheer people up. I?m sure people know I?m not the bin-kicking drunk I appear on Twitter.

Have I fallen a bit out of love with Twitter? Yes, it has a dark side. Will I leave Twitter? No, of course I bloody won?t.

Anyway. Rant over. I?m drunk, I?m naked.  Let?s go and kick some bins!!

Furious Gerbil.





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