What every kiss means…

13 12 2011

I hate these pishy romantic bullshit memes that seem to get passed around the internet. They are worse than chain emails/txts. Do people actually believe this bollocks? Well here is my take on it. My response in red.

What every kiss means; –
with GrumpyHat translation for those daft enough to believe this kind of shite meme.

 

-Kiss on the stomach; I’m ready.

 

Kiss on the stomach: You’re dating a midget

 

-Kiss on the Forehead; I hope we’re together forever.

 

Kiss on the forehead: I’m fantasising about one of my rugby team mates

 

-Kiss on the Ear; Youre my everything.

 

Kiss on the ear: your ear wax tastes of peaches and I want to eat it.

 

-Kiss on the Cheek; We’re friends.

 

Kiss on the cheek: I’m sniffing to see if your ear wax smells of peaches and hence to decide if you’re worth kissing on the ear.

 

-Kiss on the Hand; I adore you.

 

Kiss on the hand: I’m checking to see if you’ve been masturbating recently. Your jizz/clunge stinks and it’s really easy to catch you out

 

-Kiss on the Neck; We belong together.

 

Kiss on the neck: mmmmm pulsating veins in other words, I’m a vampire



-Kiss on the Shoulder; I want you.

 

Kiss on the shoulder: I’m testing to see if there’s enough meat on you to make stock for soup – I hear humans taste like chicken anyway and we are are in times of austerity after all.

 

-Kiss on the Lips; I like you.

 

Kiss on the lips: I was aiming for your ear but you moved. Have you brushed your teeth lately?


____________________________________________________
Then comes the usual “repost or you’ll be a virgin forever” bullshit, however, if you do repost you are more likely to remain a virgin forever.

 

Advice;

Don’t ask for a kiss, take one.

Just don’t forget the Sexual Offences (Scotland) Act 2009

If you were thinking about someone while reading this, you’re definitely in Love.

 then you weren’t paying attention

 

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