GHL Translates: When a girl misses you & guy facts

18 12 2011

This was another of those vomit inducing, brainless romantic teen bullshit chain email/meme things – when a girl misses you … For the cynics among us, I provide a translation in red.

~ when a girl misses you ~

When a girl bumps into your arm while walking she wants you to hold her hand.

when a girl bumps into your arm while walking she’s either pissed or on drugs. It’s probably your fault

When she wants a hug she will just stand there.

when she wants a hug she’ll pounce, if she’s just standing there she wants fuck all to do with you or you’ve probably pissed her off, in fact she probably doesn’t even know you exist. It’s all your fault

When u break her heart, she still feels it when u run into each other 3 years later

when you break her heart you’ll know all about it cos after the initial violent reaction, she’s likely to stalk you for a while, hassle your new love, hack your myspace and shag your best mate. All your fault

When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.

when a girl is quiet she’s either mute or you’ve pissed her off. There may be a million things running through her mind but they’re probably revenge thoughts and rather violent. It’s still your fault

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl is not arguing she’s probably dead. Did you kill her?

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.

when a girl  looks at you with eyes full of questions you’re in trouble. Have credible answers as to why you were found in bed with your best mate dave or hide now!

When a girl answers, “I’m fine, ” after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.

When a girl answers “I’m fine” its your own fault for asking…. welcome to a can of worms you didn’t know existed just waiting to be opened.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

when a girl stares at you, your probably have a huge zit on your forehead or huge moobs. Our brains are above our bellybuttons so its nothing more.

When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl lays her head on your chest, the flunitrazepam has worked. Prepare for jail.

When a girl says that she can’t live without you, she has made up her mind that you are
her future.

when a girl says she cant live without you, hand her the noose or you’ll never get rid of her. Stalker

When a girl says, “I miss you, ” no one in this world can miss you more than that

When a girl says I miss you, the whole avoidance tactic isn’t working, tell her straight you want nothing to do with her or better still get the courts to do it. It’s probably your fault she’s like this anyway.

When a girl is mean to you after a breakup she wants you back, but she’s scared she’ll get hurt and knows you’re gone forever

when a girl is mean to you after a breakup you’ve probably been a cunt to her and you deserve all you get

 And who says the guys get let off…?

Guy Facts:

When a guy calls you, he wants to be with you

when a guy calls you he wants sex or his wrestling dvds back. Probably the latter

When a guy is quiet, He’s listening to you…

when a guy is quiet he’s thinking about shagging your best mate or dumping you… dump him first before he starts speaking

When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he’s wrong

when a guy is not arguing he’s on the playstation or taking a dump or dead.

When a guy says, “I’m fine, ” after a few minutes, he means it

when a guy says im fine after a few minutes, he’s been trying to remember what the hell you asked him cos he wasnt listening when you first said it.

When a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do

when a guy stares at you he’s mentally undressing you and shagging you where you stand…

When you’re laying your head on a guy’s chest, he has the world

when you’re laying your head on a guys chest the flunitrazapam has worked. Never leave your drink unguarded.

When a guy calls you everyday, he is in love

when a guy calls you everyday he’s either a bailiff or a stalker.

When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it

When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he just wants to fuck you, but is more clever going about it.

When a guy says he can’t live without you, he’s with you till your done

When a guy says he can’t live without you start running. He’ll be there… he’s always there, he’s everywhere, he’s fucking with your mind… He’s got 30 injunctions by other women. Beware

When a guy says, “I miss you, “he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

when a guy says I miss you he’s been up to something. check his pockets for clues, his mobile for txts and his cock for lipstick. Sniff his best mate Dave he could be gay

repost this in 10 minutes and your true love will call you

or don’t and your life wont change in the slightest

Originally Posted Feb 27th 2007

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